Saturday, May 20, 2006

Last Weekend as a Family of 5

Today is our last Saturday together before we jump from 3 kids to 5 kids. We have been at a block party and there were so many many tiny kids- out numbering the adults and on one hand I thought- its nice my kids are all big enough to get their own hamburgers and take walks with their friends- but on the other hand I was longer for my own two babies who are not here with me. People are less and less astounded by what we are doing and much more accepting and so supportive- which is really really good- I need that now just days before I travel. I have been feeling really blue today (you know like the girl in "The Year Without a Santa Clause") and have even shed some of those big claymation tears over the fact that what I have been looking forward to for so many months- the day I meet my sons- will not be at all what I had imagined. Our agency has decided to not allow families into the orphanage to meet their children. Are you shocked? You should be- no other agency in Ethiopia does this. And its happening right before I go. So instead of little Maren- and precious Yabsera, who know nothing but these nannies and this house and these beds- will be brought to our hotel for our first meeting- a place so foreign, to meet people so foreign. We won't meet the nannies who have loved on them or get pictures of them with their nannies- Maren will not be able to show us where he sleeps. I feel so discouraged. Its like I have had this birth plan and someone has said I will have to deliver at the hospital instead of at home like I planned. I remember when that happened with Cal- I was devastated and it took time to recover. I was emailing my good friend today- she has been my lifeline through this whole experience and it occurred to me that we will have to make our own experience and make it memorable and special and we cannot rely on CWA to do this for us- we will have to have our own coffee ceremony for our boys and buy them Ethiopian clothes and just pray that God works on their little hearts so they are not afraid of us- but happy to finally be in our arms. I am so glad to be getting them soon- to be bringing them home- they need us and we need them. Still thinking of names! and packing....

Ok I tried to find a picture of the girl with the big claymation tears- but I could only find Heat Miser and Cold Miser- we often called my brother "miser" because of this character due to his red hair- and that cheered me up. The claymation red hair.


Renee said...


I am so sorry to hear you won't be able to visit you childrens' care center and meet their caregivers! What a huge disappointment. I hope your agency rethinks this poilcy as it is wrong on many levels.

I am praying for you and your boys. I KNOW God is and has been preparing their hearts to be your sons.


The Barr Family said...

Thank you Renee! I have to believe it is true.
That means a lot to me.