Intermission aka 6 - 7 centimeters

I have been really struggling with the change my agency has imposed. I am prayerful that no matter how this works out- It will be ok and how its meant to be at this time. I have a lot still to do to prepare- and not much time left to do it in- but at this point it feels doable- I always feel like before a big trip- that at some point- what I get done- I get done and what I don't I don’t- I always review- now what is the most important stuff I really need- a plane ticket, a passport, gobs of cash, and the paperwork- that 171h...to be able to get my boys- the rest is icing on the cake.

I plan on visiting several other orphanages as I have been asked to do so for others. If I never see the inside of my boys home- that will be one someone else shoulders. And I will make a point of gathering video footage from others who have traveled before me and those who travel after me whom I believe will be allowed in.

Today we got very complete and reassuring medical reports from CWA. With all of the appropriate testing and the various types of tests listed. They still called Yabsera a girl- but you know you can't have everything! (for those of you who have followed our referrals this has happened a few times! :) and since my kids think Yabsera sounds like a girls name- and in fact in Ethiopia, it commonly is used for a girls name- we will be adding another name- but we can't decide yet.)

I want to share a funny thing my 7 year old said last night. We were talking about how she was born with these little ear nubs and we were comparing it to Yabsera's extra little finger and I told her how this women came up to me in a store and looked at Phoebe as when she was a newborn and said, "Can she hear?" I just didn't understand why on earth she would ask me that- later I realized she probably saw the ear thingys- we had them removed when she was 10 months old. Phoebe said, "Wow! That was kind of rude wasn't it?...I mean I hope people wouldn't come up to us and see Yabsera's extra finger and say, 'can he count?'"

I loved that- ears are for hearing and fingers are for counting to a 1st grader!

I say 6-7 cms because- there is that point in labor when you are in so much pain- when pretty much no one else can do a lot to help you- at that point you turn to Jesus to hold you hand- its a precious time in labor- and you don't get to experience it if you get an epidural- its worth it to me to have seen that. At that point- you hear you are 6 - 7 cms- not quite in transition yet- and you know that you can hang out at 6 cms for a long time...it can be the most excruciating part of the labor. Its when most women ask for pain medication- this point and onward. Feels like I am there. Hard to describe- I asked a few people today if its normal to feel so crummy just a few days before you got to meet your children- the reply was "yes."

And this weekend will be long...leaving Denver by 7:30 Am and not arriving in Addis until Sunday evening. Three days of travel and one sleepy night and then I will hold my babies. That is a moment I long for at this point.