April 18!

Passage Isaiah 45:3:
3 I will give you the treasures of darkness,
riches stored in secret places,
so that you may know that I am the LORD,
the God of Israel, who summons you by name.

On Tuesday, April 18th we heard from Tracy, our case manager from CWA, that our court date in Ethiopia was successful. We were as surprised as she was to hear we had even had the court date. She had gotten the email on Monday stating that Maren and Yabsera's court case was successful. What this means is that they are legally our boys. I guess the actual court date occurred in Addis Ababa on the 17th...but we heard on the 18th. We were so happy! Cal said, "Is this really 100%? Are the 100% ours?" Maddie just seemed a little sad and when I said, "Why aren't you happy?" she said, "I just want them home!" We went out to dinner to celebrate and we will never forget this date.

Someone on the CWA web board posted this verse (above). I loved it because those of you who know me well, know that this is truly a gift to us that came from places of sadness. There is that one essay from "The Prophet" that talks about Joy and Sorrow. It talks about how a violin must be carved out and made hollow to be able to create beautiful music. How, in order to know real joy you must have experienced true sorrow. There are children in my life I have loved so dearly and had to say goodbye to and to be able to bring two beautiful boys into our family is pure joy. I also know that our joy in bringing these two boys home, brings sadness to many of their family members left behind. That in order to join our Barr family they had to leave their Ethiopian family.

Unknowingly, last August, I changed my login at work to "April18!". I have been typing that date for 8 months. Thirty to forty times a day I type "April18!". I had no idea. No idea what-so-ever that on April 18th we would be given this most amazing gift.

God is amazing in His timing and perfect in His plan for us.

"When will you go to Ethiopia?"

This is the question we hear most often. I can tell people several times that we have no idea- probably end of May or beginning of June- but they will ask and ask again. I don't mind. I just think its funny. We have been told we will not know our travel date until about 7-10 days before travel. So that means we will not know for another 4-8 weeks depending on when our court date is.

Remember that we are assigned a court date in Ethiopia - we are not present for that court date- our representative goes to court on our behalf and if all goes well the children our legally ours at the end of the day. Then there is paperwork to be processed and we are assigned a visa appointment and that is when we travel- the visa date can be anywhere between 3 and 6 weeks after the court date. It could be -possibly even as short as 2 weeks- but the last group traveled three weeks after their court date and this next group is being told it will probably be about 4 weeks later. So, today I emailed our case manager, Tracy, to ask if she might have a court date for us soon...her first reply was:

Dear Emily,
I am in contact with our CWA representative and may have news for you, but need clarification before I tell you something in error. Watch for more tomorrow!
Hang in there!

Tracy
Ethiopia Program Director

and her second email- later this evening was:


Dear Emily,

I hope to have good news for you tomorrow! Don’t you hate suspense?
Be preparing to travel soon!
Take care and God bless,

Tracy
Ethiopia Program Director



So hopefully we will have a court date tomorrow...usually the court date is about 10-15 days out from the time you receive notice of it.

Keep us in your prayers- we have quite a bit to do to prepare for travel!

He is Risen!

John 11:25-26

"I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26 and whoever lives and believes in me will never die."

We colored eggs last night and made eggs for the boys. I thought of them in Ethiopia and prayed in church that they would feel our love today. And as I prayed I realized that it is possible that one of the families going to pick up their son this week may see them today. They may get hugs from someone who knows they are our babies. That was very comforting.

Next Easter as we prepare for our Easter dinner we will be setting two more places at our table. And we will look back on this time when we wait to bring them home...and we will probably not remember what life was like without them. OK- we might remember- but I am guessing we will like it better when they are here! :)

Baby Sale!

It’s raining in Denver today- great for the grass and all of my tulips and bluebells (I know they are not bluebells- but that is what we call them- I have to preface that because I think it really bugs one member of our family that we have all sorts of made up names for flowers- these are actually grape hyacinths- but we call them bluebells) I planted last fall. Also good for trying to dig out from under the piles of laundry that have taken over the house! This morning Phoebe and I went to her school where they had a "gently used baby sale" - (makes it sound like folks who have given up on their crying babies are trading them in for quieter and sleepier versions!) Anyway- we were able to get an excer-saucer, a potty chair, a bath ring, clothes for both kids (not as many for the older child- since they just didn't have as much and also we have no idea what size he will be) books, toys, some shoes, spoons, a couple bibs, a couple crib sheets, a few blankets...all for about 37.00! And they are letting me go back at about 11:00 am to grab some shoes to bring to the orphanage!

One of the things that really struck me when watching the DVD of the older kids that CWA is working to place for adoption, was the fact that none of the kids had shoes...and the few that did were so worn out and full of holes. The part of Ethiopia we are adopting from is one of the poorest regions in the world. Some estimates call it the 3rd poorest region in the world. It is the poorest part of one of the poorest countries. Shoes are definitely a luxury. Here is a link to a brief article outlining Habitat for Humanity's efforts to bring housing to this incredibly poor region of Ethiopia.

Habitat For Humanity in Wolaita Ethiopia

I come to the thought time and time again about how much more we can all do, just in general. People say how good it is that Mark and I are doing this (we are either "good" or "crazy"! and often both...) but we really reap the rewards of our family. We saw that we can reach out to these families in another part of the world in a unique way. And in turn they are reaching back. We are forever making a connection to this place - Sodo- Wolaita. I have to run back to the baby sale and get the shoes!!! :) If you want to learn more about the older kids that are available for adoption you can check out this link:

Older Children Aged About 3-12 Waiting for Families

Good Friends!

Today some friends I have gotten to know a bit through our agency, CWA, got news of their successful hearing at court! I also got an email from friends we have met here in Colorado - the ones who went from adopting one infant to adopting three older kids- that the kids they requested are official referred to them! And they will likely travel early in June- which mans several of us will all have our kids home for the summer.

It is also Holy Week and I am reminded of God's love for us in giving his ultimate sacrifice. When I have difficult times its a comfort to rely on God's presence. One family shared these verses with us today:

Isa. 43:1-3. "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by
name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters I will be with
you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you;
when you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will
not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of
Israel, your Savior."

2 Cor. 9:8. "God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in
all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in
every good work."

How comforting to know this. No matter where you are and what has been made difficult for you God is with you through all of it.

This photo was taken last Sunday. Here you can see our three kids and then jennifer, Mark and their son Zeke. We had some good friends come to visit us. Jennifer is our midwife's daughter. We met our midwife while living in Ithaca New York. We had called her about having a homebirth for our first pregnancy and then before our first prenatal visit we miscarried- she then called to check on us and we were pregnant with Maddie. She cared for us throughout that pregnancy and during that time I met her daughter Jennifer. Our family became close with their family and spent a lot of time together. They became like family to us. Gail was also one of the midwives caring for us during Phoebe's birth- this occurred shortly before Jennifer and Mark were married. So at their wedding Phoebe was only about a month old. They now have a 3 year old names Zeke and they all came to visit us last week.


This picture was taken in the foothills of the Rockies. It was a wonderful time and I spoke to Jennifer's mother, our midwife, and I said, "How fitting it is to have Jennifer come to visit so close to the time when we are bringing new babies into our family- our midwife’s daughter!" It is wonderful to meet people in life - along the way - whom you connect with and they are special and bring joy into your life. These people become the fabric of your memories and they are the gift that God gives us to help us and to celebrate with us.

We are thankful for the families we have met through this process. In many ways- going through this together- is so unique - I can't imagine not having these connections across the United States and even the world to help guide you through this process. They are like my midwives in this process of adoption.

Immigration Approval

The long awaited I 171h came today from CIS! We are approved to bring our baby boys home! We are so excited. This was the last thing we were waiting for on our end of things. Now we will hopefully be assigned a court date in the next few weeks and then we wait for the travel date. Its a great feeling to be at this point in the process. It has been long and not always easy. I know there still is a lot ahead of us. But right now...this feels good.

Waiting for a Court Date

We got word last week that our court date will be coming son. We are still waiting for our 171h- which will hopefully magically appear in our mail box tomorrow. We are still working on names. Can't quite decide on them yet- knowing us the boys will be registering for school and still not be names officially by us. The pressure doesn't seem so strong when they already have names! We have started thinking about all of the stuff we will need and have had some nice offers on a few things - like today a women from our church offered a crib and a changing table! And a good friend has offered to buy us a stroller which will hold both boys. I was telling our friend that we are still trying to figure out the child care while we are gone and she mentioned a young women who might be interested - and it turns out this women works in Cal and Phoebe's before school program! So I met her- she is really nice and interested in helping- which I hope works out. Our family is not in the position to really come and help. Its funny when people have babies and they say, "Oh my mom is coming out for two weeks and then Aunt Jane will be here and then Cousin Sara and thenCousin Sara's old College roommate..." You get the picture. It’s never been like that for us- we are lucky to get a few days after each birth. And we do consider that a special time and have been blessed by having the family we had- even if it was short lived. And now I am even more appreciative - when we are not likely to have that at all. We just live very far- and everyone has jobs or kids. But hopefully we will get home this summer so they can meet their new grandchildren! New Cousins! New nephews! We are getting more excited about this and its been so fun to have our dear friends from Ithaca here for the past few days with their 3 year old- its good practice for having a toddler around- for all of us!

Timelines...it can be a difficult word in the adoption world

People get very hung up on timelines in the adoption world. Think about it- when you get pregnant you know you have roughly 40 weeks (or 36 depending on when you found out you were pregnant) to prepare for this new person to enter you life. My friend was telling her birthing story at a "Blessing way" I had the other night for two pregnant friends of mine- and it was so sweet she started crying at the point where- her water has broken and she is leaving for the hospital and she stops by the empty nursery. The realization that it would never be that quiet or peaceful in their house again- that real change was happening in the next 24 to72 hours was just profound. And my friend knew that. She understood- what I think some new mom's just don't get until it hits them in the face- that their lives are forever changed. It is a lot of what post partum depression feeds off of. You no longer are one person. You are always responsible for this other person. Your life has changed. A quick trip to the store will not be a quick trip again for quite some time.


So we, who are adopting, are focused on timelines- we often want them to be short. We also have no idea when the child will be home- its very different from a pregnancy where you know just about when it does- and you also know you will be taking home someone very tiny- a newborn. When waiting for a referral we have no idea what age our child will be- and frankly even after they are referred we have no idea how old they really are. Of course we want to see our children soon...but we also want these timelines to somehow fit into our expectations. Some families wait years for their children. There is quite a long wait if you are adopting from China- it could be a year after your dossier is complete that you get your referral and then another couple months before travel. Its much longer than a pregnancy. If you live in Canada od Australia and are adopting from Ethiopia, I have heard you can wait two years. But her, in thhe U.S., the wait times between dossier submission and referral and travel have been fairly short - and when I say short- in many cases there has hardly been any wait at all. Many of the agencies have been inundated with applications lately. I have heard that AAI has received more applications in the last 6 months than in the last 6 years- that is a lot! So the wait times are lengthening- not because there aren't children- but because there is only so much the staff of one agency can handle.

Back when we chose CWA we thought- on one hand it could go slower- because its new- and on the other hand we thought- it could also go fast because we are one of the first families- so far it is proving to be quick We got a referral as soon as they got our dossier. That was March 1st. I know another family who got their referral the same day as us and they received their court date today. It will be April12th. We did not get ours. we are still waiting for our 171h which should come this week. Then we will be in line for a court date. Then we would probably travel 2-3 weeks after court depending on when that is. Our timeline story starts with..."So we made our first phone call to CWA on October 31st. We sent our first part of our application n to CWA right after Thanksgiving. We had our final Home study visit on January 6th. Our homestudy was sent to INS on March 1st the same day we got our referrals." It has been really fast in the world of international adoption- and the fact that our sons will be home probably by June- means that - if you count the discussion when the decision was made to move forward with researching adoption- our gestation is nearly 9 months. Only we are giving birth to a 6 month old and a 3 year old! (we think!)