Act 1 Scene 3: Where the Barr's have an Embassy date AND plane tickets

For anyone who does not believe in the power of prayer...I can't even begin to tell you how God has just walked us through every bit of this. Do you believe me that there were no flights? Or I should say most flights were booked and the only flights we could get were extremely costly- I am not exaggerating when I say they cost more than the international fees for our adoption. One airline quoted me at 8,000.00 a ticket! I called my CWA case manager and even though I said I wouldn't cry...I did...ok not surprising - but still, I was prepared to give up and move the date further out, which made me really upset- those of you who have been to our photo blog AKA "The Maureen Blog"- have seen these little faces and know that they are adorable and I just can't wait to hold them and kiss them and play with them and hear them laugh and hear them cry and respond to their cries..so waiting even one more week was heartbreaking. Tracy prayed with me on the phone. I had really just given this one to God. And the travel agent. :) Our travel agent is Susan Parr.

Susan Parr Travel

We have been working with her for a few weeks now, back when we first thought we were traveling this week. She did not give up and while looking at flights for the following week she somehow got us on that Ethiopian Air Flight we had been trying to get on for over a day and a half. And we paid for it today! Its the least expensive and the nice thing about Ethiopian Air is that the kids will have many Ethiopians and people who speak their language during a time of great stress. British Air is nice for Denver because you can fly directly in to Denver- but it is more money- we wanted to pay less if possible.

We are on a wait list for the earlier flight out and hope to get that.

Please keep my good friend who brought her babies home in your prayers. They are doing so much better now that they are with their mom and dad- but it has just been a difficult experience for them since the beginning and I have grown to love them dearly and they need prayer to get through all of the hurdles that lie ahead. They sent me a photo of the babies with outfits I had bought them before they left- and they already look so different from the photos taken just two weeks ago!

Please also pray for safety as there was some violence and terrorism in Addis today. I believe 9 people died and many were injured. I would post a link to the news article- but it’s just too sad to have it on the blog- so if you want to read more you can google it. The good news it was not near the CWA foster home and everyone connected with CWA is safe including the children. But be praying that we can travel safely to bring our boys home.

Its summer here in Denver- today it was in the 80s and it was a beautiful day for the Shakespeare Festival. Madeline was awesome in her scene from "As You Like It" and Phoebe turns 7 this weekend...its good I am getting new babies because my baby is no longer a baby!!!

What others are saying about the new Barr boys

From the mom who waits at home for her husband to bring home their new son Max:

"Brian just called -- he returned to the orphanage and met your children. He said they both look very healthy. His comments:

Maren: Maren has the prettiest eyes and the longest eyelashes he has ever seen. He said that they are very big and long. Maren was very sweet and was playing with other kids and their toys the entire time he was there. Brian said that he seemed to be enjoying himself and was very happy.

Yabsera also seemed very healthy and is big. He was in his crib while he was there but said that he was awake and happy - the baby was not crying at all."

and this from CWA taken on May 2nd:

Yaebser (if he is 6 months he is decent sized- if he is 9 months he is smallish)

Height 64cm

Weight 7.5kg

Maren (if he is 3 he is itty bitty- if he is 2 he is really big- if he is 2 1/2 he is a good sized kid)

Height 89cm

Weight 12kg


I got donations at an Academy Award party I had, and raised enough to buy a scale to bring to Ethiopia- I also purchased a special tool used to measure length on infants and I am bringing a foot measurer a good friend finagled from Payless Shoes- they just plain gave it to her when she told them why she wanted it.

If you noticed I have not posted about my travel - that is purposeful. Keep us in your prayers and I hope to have good word tomorrow. I was blessed today by a friend who sent us a check out of the blue and another friend, whom I adore, who was visiting and just handed me some money when she left- not a huge amount or anything- but as you know - at this point every bit counts- she said, "Here- take this- I will tell you later why- just take it." So there is a mysterious reason- but it was still affirming to get these notes of encouragement during times of great stress. An email came from a friend who brought home infant twins a year ago from Ethiopia and an email from a long lost friend from high school found its way to me- this was written back in February! And finally my good friend who is bringing home three kids from Ethiopia very soon (they will also have 5 kids) called just to check on me- it was very sweet and meant a lot to me- so thanks out there to all of you who have heard my cries of stress and anxiety over the last 24 hours. It’s so good to know you care and get it.

And I can't believe what happend on LOST tonight! That is a whole 'nuther blog!

Act 1 Scene 2: How the war and rising gas prices affects when I get my children

I feel I have to blame somebody for the sadness and frustration I feel today and I was thinking it is so much easier to blame George Bush than anyone else...We got the long awaited email from our case manager that we have an embassy Date- but its not what we had been thinking and planning for- we thought we would be leaving next wed for an Embassy date on the 23rd of May. But the email went something like this: "Congratulations you have an embassy date of May 30th!" It looked like the type of email that would cause all sorts of celebrating and joy...but I just plummeted into sadness- for many reasons- one being its one more week before I get to be with my two boys- I just can't wait to see these guys- hold them- kiss them- watch them sleep- play with them- feed them- care for them- bring them home to meet their sisters and brother...etc etc. I also knew that plane tickets would be hard to come by. I was busy all day and so it wasn't until the very end when I got the email from our travel agent who wrote to say she could get us on a Lufthansa flight for a ton of money and we would have to get German tourist visas for the kids...and that...point blank...there were no other flights- no wait listing- no flights. Nothing. At this point- I knew the next step was to ask for a new embassy date of one week later...yes...LATER....I can't even begin to describe the kind of tailspin this sent me into- because it means so many things as far as the plans for childcare- I now not only need to see if someone can watch my kids while we are gone and they are out of school- before they would have been in school all day- but I need to find someone to watch them the first week of summer when I would still be working. And work???? I am so ready to be gone from work its not even funny. I planned it all around being GONE BY NEXT WEEK. (Sorry Chipees who may be reading this...its not you...its work) Anyway...I am still in limbo...tomorrow - I call and ask to move my embassy date and get new tickets and hopefully save money.

What’s one more week? Well its a lot when you are just a baby and a little boy - now granted - they don't know that they aren't with me- which is good- its just me who knows and feels their loss at this point (and Phoebe who asked every day when they will be home- today she said, will they be home for my birthday? Which is this weekend- so "No, Phoebe they will be home a month after your birthday!" Bummer. I think that sadness I feel is somewhat accumulative...this whole process is just so incredibly stressful and it does tend to build up quite a bit. And when I am sad I miss my family a lot. They are all very far away- and there are no plans for any Colorado visits in the near future. But I have some wonderful friends- and I am glad they are here. (I have to say that in case you are reading and think I have forgotten how wonderful you all are!)

Why blame Bush? War equals rising gas prices and rising gas prices translates into less airplanes flying and higher prices…which means I don't get to smooch my babies for another month.

Act I Scene I: I still know nothing

I am almost a week away from our expected travel date (May 17th) and still do not know when we travel. I am hoping to hear something tomorrow- but I am starting to worry it will be yet another week of waiting after that. Everyone asks all the time if I know anything...I don't blame them- they all want to know just as much as I do. And we have this whole cast of characters in the wings waiting to "perform" child care for us and yet I can't give them their cue until I know when opening night is....it's tricky. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers as we pack our bags and prepare to take the show on the road.

John 14

Jesus Comforts His Disciples
"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have
told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go
and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with
me that you also may be where I am. 4 You know the way to the place
where I am going."

Jesus the Way to the Father
5 Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so
how can we know the way?"
6 Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one
comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really knew me, you
would know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have
seen him."

News from Addis and Notes on Boycotts and Breastfeeding

One of the friends I have made through this process is in Addis right now picking up her children. They are adorable and she is very happy to finally be with them. She is hoping to get an earlier embassy appointment so they can leave as soon as possible. They are both tiny babies and need lots of love and attention right now...so its good their mom and dad are there to give them that. Anyway, she wrote me today to let me know how my boys were. As you know, we have not heard much about Yabsera and even today- I was happy to get new measurements on the boys- but they said his weight was 4 kg which is about 8 pounds...well that along with his height and someone else saying he is a "good sized 7-8 month old” made me think it had to be wrong. It’s been a challenge to get good accurate information from Ethiopia to North Carolina to the families. I am sure it will get better as this agency processes more and more families- we are like family number 10, I think, to go and pick up kids. WE did request that our embassy date be the 23rd of May- its a week later - but for many reasons it made sense to do that. We will not know for sure until...well...until we know. If it is then we may leave May 17th. This would be good because I have loaded up my clinic on May 16th, I will be here for Shakespeare festival, Maddie's theatre banquet, and of course our dear Phoebe Darling's 7th birthday. So the news...here is what she wrote:

"Em-
Yes, it was a good day!!! :-)

First - your boys are awesome!!!! I have held them, kissed them, played with them. I will attach photos, but they don't do them justice. Yabsera looks very healthy. He has been to two doctors for his skin, one today. They are treating it as if it is scabies, but it is not bad at all and I know you will be able to get it healed quickly at home. He smiles, laughs, is very responsive. He can hold his own weight if I hold him by the hands. Child of laughter!!!

Maren will be somewhat of handful on the plane ride home, so you may want to try that benedryl!!! He is just a doll. Not naughty, but full of life. He loves to laugh. We played tickle games. He would not take off his shoes for me, but Sharon said she thinks he is 5 1/2 or 6 (she measured).

All of the children except our baby girl are in very good health. I learned to day that we have our baby girl to thank for that! When she came she was so bad they took her to a dr here who ordered her formula with iron. Dagne just ordered the same thing for all of the babies! So they have all been on Nestle Infant Formula with Iron, I think it is called Nans (?). They are also fed rice cereal with fruit; I think also a Nestle product. I am really happy! They look great! They said Yabsera, and the other babies were somewhat malnourished when they arrived, but a month on formula has done wonders!!!!"

So, those of you who know me, know that I sometimes take a stand against stuff...I have become much more complacent in my old age...right now my only boycott is Tommy Hilfiger...but there was a time I would not buy NESTLE products. Yup. And that is hard to do...because they make a ton of things.

Historical Timeline on Nestle Boycott

If you look at this time line- and you look at 1988...that is right around when I probably joined the fight against Nestle. It was also the time you found me marching on Tiananmen Square with the Chinese Students, joining the fight against Racism at Cornell University, and shortly before I moved to Northern California to take care of children with HIV. My bumper sticker read "Fight AIDS not people with AIDS" Anyway, I am still all about fighting racism, I still feel the Chinese have suffered oppression, and I still think we have a long way to go to get rid of the stigma that goes along with having HIV....but admittedly I am ready to go out and buy a case of Nestle chocolate bars...for two reasons...one- I could really use the chocolate to help with my stress and two because after reading that it was Nestle formula with Iron that has made Yabsera healthier- it would be hard for me to personally knock it.

And you all know what a huge proponent of breastfeeding I am...if you see my links you can find a link for mothers wishing to breastfeed their adopted child. I think it’s great if you can do it. Here is a link to more information:

Great Site on Adoptive Breastfeeding

So, still waiting on an embassy date and therefore a travel date...feeling better tonight after hearing Yabsera is weight bearing and that Maren is being a huge pain in everyone's butt...I take that as a good sign.

Good News on Maren and Yabsera

This is from an email that a friend who is there picking up her two children sent to me today:

Em,
I would say he (Yabsera) looks great for 7-8 months.... I didn't want to disturb him while he was sleeping. Maren is very funny. He loves books and we actually left one of the books we took to the home with him because he loved it so much. He loves to be held and enjoys playing. Bethlehem and he battle for attention a lot. You are going to love his personality and his energy!

Under the Mercy,
Sharon

So, my concern for Yabsera is probably without merit- I hope. I was getting together 6 month clothes thinking he looked small- we will see what Maureen - who arrives tomorrow and will see them on Wednesday thinks. Today someone mentioned bottles...need that still. We were not thinking baby since the beginning of this process so its hard to try and think of everything we will need to bring...formula...diapers...bottles...Maren is potty trained - how about that- he likes to read, he is sweet and he can pee on a potty! That is so great!

Waiting on hold with British Airways

Don't you just love when an agency or group does something special so that you can get some great deal on something...but the only way you can get that deal is either by jumping through so many hoops that is becomes unreasonable or you need money to get the deal...so the deal is worthless to you anyway? British Airways as this adoption deal but to even ask what the rate is I have to fax them a bunch of stuff and give them a dna sample before they will even give me a quote. I am not kidding - its like preparing a dossier just to fly- I have now been on hold with them for over half an hour- because she said I would not get my quote until 48 hours after I send them all of this paperwork. I said, "but I am leaving next week- I don't have 48 hours to see if you can give me the best deal." So she said she would get me her supervisor and now I am on hold. For the record, KLM/Northwest was able to give me a quote right away- however- it was about 3,000.00 per adult and then another 1500.00 for the kids. That brings us to....(drum roll please) 7500.00. Its great that the plane fair costs more than the international adoption fees. British Airways will be about the same...so back to the travel agent and see what she can scrounge up. Man if I end up on the Dutch airline again (I have not had pleasant experiences with KLM) that will almost be funny...not funny- just almost funny. But I would fly them again- even next to the miserable Dutch family I flew with from Johannesburg to Amsterdam and - yes- dare I say- even with the insanely inebriated woman who kept reaching over her head and giving me the finger all the way from Amsterdam to Capetown. Gee, I wonder if they will have the same two sitcoms playing the whole way that I had to watch 6 or 7 times when I last flew them? here is a photo of Phlat Phoebe who travels with me- she is in the Amsterdam airport with the dutch kissing ceramics in the background.

So, I am griping, but I got wonderful news on the boys today. I think I need to put it in a separate post...don't want to mix travel angst with baby joy.

We Got New Photos!

Today we got a few new photos from the agency or our older child and that was nice and then we got a pleasant surprise and got more photos from a family who recently brought back their son. They sent us several of our older child- they are actually pretty funny- because we sent these gift bags with a blanket I made, and a few toys and a book- and in the pictures he is just clutching the toys- in one, he is inside and then he is outside- but he is just holding all of his "stuff". It was really really cool to see the things we had sent to him in his arms! We also got another photo of the baby- unfortunately he actually looks less well than he did in the referral picture- he looks less chubby and he looks less alert and a bit dry- he may have some eczema. Our good friends whom we have met through this- I have written about them- they have three kids the same gender and ages as ours and their daughter and Phoebe have the very same birthdates. They are adopting two infants. They are leaving Monday to go a little early because one of their children may be ill- that is not the good news- the good news is that since they are going early they can check on our kids- especially the baby- because he looked so tiny in the photo.

We have a lot to do to prepare and the fact that we could possibly be leaving in the next two - three weeks is a bit overwhelming- please keep us in your thoughts and prayers. Please pray specifically for airline tickets – that we can get them for when we need and that the cost is not too terribly high.

I can't yet post photos of the boys- but will post a photo of what I sent to them- it had to be light and fit in a 1 gallon ziplock bag!



You can see how we fit everything into the bags





And you can see how we taped pictures of us on the backs of the books.




And soon I can, I will post the actual pictures of our older boy clutching his loot to his chest. It’s pretty darn cute!

My New Links

If you get a chance to check out some of my new links- I have included a long list of books from Amazon.com which are related to Ethiopian Adoption. I hade probably 10 more I could have put on the list- but it limits you to 25 books. Also, I have added a pod cast that you can listen to on interracial adoption. I am finding that when I am doing something to prepare for my boys to come home I am always having to think about how I want them to feel comfortable and not feel so different. I know they will and I want to embrace that as well. But for instance - you are looking at children's books- so many do not have brown faces in them- luckily many of my favorites have animals.
This happens when I am blogging and I want to put in a little picture- I had to look pretty hard to find the cartoons that look like my kids look. And of course its even harder to find a picture book with white mommy's and daddy's and brown babies. I am sure this is true for so many families- with single parents, same sex parents, racially mixed families. I know that not all books that are read to a child have to look exactly like the child and their family- but it is nice when the books are about family relationships to include the diverse make up of our families. I notices a great listmania list on Amazon on picture books for adopted children in interracial families- so I will try and get that linked to this blog as well.

I hope to get word this week about a best guess for travel...and I also hope to see an updated photo of the boys sometime this week. It will be nice to hear from the two families who traveled last week through CWA and picked up their children. I will let you know when I know!