The countdown

If you have one kind of browser- my blog looks normal- and just to the left is a countdown to our Embassy appointment...if you have another kind of browser- the right side links and profile and clock are all way way down at the bottom. I went to a blogger fix it blog and its very time consuming to fix- basically one of my posts or links or something was too big and makes it look funny in certain browsers...but the important thing is to see that my countdown is down to 4 days and 2 hours- that is when we should have the embassy appointment- rough guess. We should actually meet them in less time than that. About 3 days until we meet our baby boys.

Mark and I have been working all night to get ready- lists, list and more lists. Mark doesn't like the idea of carrying a moneybelt. I told him he didn't really have a choice. Our Dog alone costs about the same at the kids to be cared for while we are gone.

I just wanted to write a quick "America's Amazing New Grads" post. We had this new grad, who is visiting our Pastor's family, come today and clean-and clean and clean. I was actually crying telling someone about this wonderful woman. And is she ever meticulous! She spent over an hour in our tiny powder room...I just am so thankful and so grateful and it makes leaving easier and coming home to a clean house will be so nice too.

Another friend came by with tons of Tylenol and Motrin and band-aids and then ran an errand for me. And people have been so generous with giving us money here and there and we need it so much and it’s so great and so helpful and so wonderful.

I have a friend who will blog for me in my absence- but I have warned her that this is an Ethiopian Adoption Blog and not a LOST forum where she can discuss the nuances of the Henry Gale character...though at times that is probably much more entertaining.

Just wanted to send one last post from the US. I am ready to sleep on that plane tomorrow.
Check the countdown when you read this- you too will get pangs of excitement...I wanted it to look like the clock in the bunker- but couldn't get that on my blog.

Intermission aka 6 - 7 centimeters

I have been really struggling with the change my agency has imposed. I am prayerful that no matter how this works out- It will be ok and how its meant to be at this time. I have a lot still to do to prepare- and not much time left to do it in- but at this point it feels doable- I always feel like before a big trip- that at some point- what I get done- I get done and what I don't I don’t- I always review- now what is the most important stuff I really need- a plane ticket, a passport, gobs of cash, and the paperwork- that 171h...to be able to get my boys- the rest is icing on the cake.

I plan on visiting several other orphanages as I have been asked to do so for others. If I never see the inside of my boys home- that will be one someone else shoulders. And I will make a point of gathering video footage from others who have traveled before me and those who travel after me whom I believe will be allowed in.

Today we got very complete and reassuring medical reports from CWA. With all of the appropriate testing and the various types of tests listed. They still called Yabsera a girl- but you know you can't have everything! (for those of you who have followed our referrals this has happened a few times! :) and since my kids think Yabsera sounds like a girls name- and in fact in Ethiopia, it commonly is used for a girls name- we will be adding another name- but we can't decide yet.)

I want to share a funny thing my 7 year old said last night. We were talking about how she was born with these little ear nubs and we were comparing it to Yabsera's extra little finger and I told her how this women came up to me in a store and looked at Phoebe as when she was a newborn and said, "Can she hear?" I just didn't understand why on earth she would ask me that- later I realized she probably saw the ear thingys- we had them removed when she was 10 months old. Phoebe said, "Wow! That was kind of rude wasn't it?...I mean I hope people wouldn't come up to us and see Yabsera's extra finger and say, 'can he count?'"

I loved that- ears are for hearing and fingers are for counting to a 1st grader!

I say 6-7 cms because- there is that point in labor when you are in so much pain- when pretty much no one else can do a lot to help you- at that point you turn to Jesus to hold you hand- its a precious time in labor- and you don't get to experience it if you get an epidural- its worth it to me to have seen that. At that point- you hear you are 6 - 7 cms- not quite in transition yet- and you know that you can hang out at 6 cms for a long time...it can be the most excruciating part of the labor. Its when most women ask for pain medication- this point and onward. Feels like I am there. Hard to describe- I asked a few people today if its normal to feel so crummy just a few days before you got to meet your children- the reply was "yes."

And this weekend will be long...leaving Denver by 7:30 Am and not arriving in Addis until Sunday evening. Three days of travel and one sleepy night and then I will hold my babies. That is a moment I long for at this point.

Last Weekend as a Family of 5

Today is our last Saturday together before we jump from 3 kids to 5 kids. We have been at a block party and there were so many many tiny kids- out numbering the adults and on one hand I thought- its nice my kids are all big enough to get their own hamburgers and take walks with their friends- but on the other hand I was longer for my own two babies who are not here with me. People are less and less astounded by what we are doing and much more accepting and so supportive- which is really really good- I need that now just days before I travel. I have been feeling really blue today (you know like the girl in "The Year Without a Santa Clause") and have even shed some of those big claymation tears over the fact that what I have been looking forward to for so many months- the day I meet my sons- will not be at all what I had imagined. Our agency has decided to not allow families into the orphanage to meet their children. Are you shocked? You should be- no other agency in Ethiopia does this. And its happening right before I go. So instead of little Maren- and precious Yabsera, who know nothing but these nannies and this house and these beds- will be brought to our hotel for our first meeting- a place so foreign, to meet people so foreign. We won't meet the nannies who have loved on them or get pictures of them with their nannies- Maren will not be able to show us where he sleeps. I feel so discouraged. Its like I have had this birth plan and someone has said I will have to deliver at the hospital instead of at home like I planned. I remember when that happened with Cal- I was devastated and it took time to recover. I was emailing my good friend today- she has been my lifeline through this whole experience and it occurred to me that we will have to make our own experience and make it memorable and special and we cannot rely on CWA to do this for us- we will have to have our own coffee ceremony for our boys and buy them Ethiopian clothes and just pray that God works on their little hearts so they are not afraid of us- but happy to finally be in our arms. I am so glad to be getting them soon- to be bringing them home- they need us and we need them. Still thinking of names! and packing....

Ok I tried to find a picture of the girl with the big claymation tears- but I could only find Heat Miser and Cold Miser- we often called my brother "miser" because of this character due to his red hair- and that cheered me up. The claymation red hair.

Beautiful Boys on Birth certificates

I was not feeling well this morning and managed after everyone left the house to go back to sleep- My very close friend, Molly was in labor last night and I was woken by a tearful friend who announced, "My Baby's Breech" through tears...It took me a second to realize what she had said- and to process that she wasn't saying something 100,000 times worse than that. But at that moment- it was the saddest thing for her- she did not want or plan to have a C-section- but all went well and Piper Rose was born this morning. So, I am asleep having fever dreams and night sweats and Mark calls and tells me about the email that came with the bys birth certificates. He told me all the little details- like Yabsera's name being spelled "Yebsera". The Names are Yebsera Mark Barr and Maren Mark Barr - there are birth dates and it says "Mother" "Emily Barr". I liked that.

The birthdates are usually random. The baby turns out to be 7 months old. Maren turns out to be 3 years and 4 months old. I find it hard to believe he is that old- he would be just so tiny based on heights and weights we got recently. But we will see when we meet him...Oh and I can't wait. Mark is growing his beard. For each baby Mark had a beard - he always thought that it was the baby's only way to know that this was Daddy and not Mommy- Daddy is the one with the scratchy face when you reach up with your tiny hand. But he said he is a bit worried that it might scare the boys- are there many men with beards there? And the photos we have sent- He does not have a beard. But I think they will know- I always say- Kids know when someone likes them- I have seen it with my own kids- they can tell when someone really digs them- my patients know when I really adore them - they can tell - and they respond differently when they feel that. I make a point of falling for all of my patients- some are easier to fall for than others- but in the end- they know when that has happened- when they have me wrapped around their finger.

So I know that Maren and Yabsera will know quickly that their Daddy with the scratchy face is their Daddy and loves them immensely.

I will try and put the photos from the birth certificates on the "Maureen Blog" as it has been come to be known..because those two pictures are so incredible.

Today we got a package from a good friend- she ordered me a lact-aid system so I could breast feed Yabsera- it is so great and what a great gift- to get something that you, frankly, couldn't ask that many people to get for you. And another friend left me a check- I can't tell you all how great it is- another friend will be giving us their crib mattress- we have countless people praying for us- and I have this group of families who have agreed to keep the Barr kids busy while we are gone- its truly like everyone has come together to bring these kids home. And the more I am learning about their lives - I realize- if they stayed in Ethiopia- they would not likely be alive- the baby might not be alive today and Maren might be alive- but he might very well be starving, without a home, without clothes, without a family- and would not live. So thank you Thank you Thank you to all of you for the prayer and support!

Main Street Sodo


This picture came from when you google Sodo Ethiopia- where the boys are from- this is the picture that comes up- I was looking at it with my Ethiopian Friend and I said, "Is that really Sodo?" and he said, "Yes Emily- you will see- you will see how the people live- they have nothing- you will see how bad it is- you will see how lucky these two boys are." We feel like the lucky ones.

11 fingers and 10 toes

Here we are all acting like we are "expecting"- while visiting a freind who was very pregnant- and still is -but her water JUST BROKE!!

You know how when you have a baby- they say that you count all of their fingers and toes? How people say, "He has 10 fingers and 10 toes!" Well, even though I have scrutinized my photos and I mean scrutinized them...I know that Maren is wearing the pink happy suit in some pictures and later his little brother is wearing it! So even though I thought I had seen everything- I saw that Yabsera has an extra pinky on his left hand. Its not like you are thinking- I think people call it a "phantom digit". It is something that can easily be removed and in the US would have been done at birth. Once I saw it yesterday- I went back and sure enough - its in every picture- not sure how I missed it. All of our birth kids have had some kind of birth anomaly- so we thought that it was fitting that Yabsera does too...I wonder what we might find in all of Maren's nooks and crannies...and speaking of Maren- I got an email yesterday that he "destroyed" his toys. I just can't wait to bring him home and give him some toys that are his to keep and that no one is going to take away- I think in the care setting like that with lots of kids they are always grabbing toys away from each other. So I look forward to letting him know that he can have stuff that is all his! Until Yabsera learns to crawl and starts the stealing! But hopefully by then he will get it that it’s just the 7 of us- and most of us don't want his toys and books! I also made a new photo album to bring with me because I am not sure his is still there= so we can look at it on the way home- its has pictures of grandparents and cousins and Max- our beagle and the kids and I put in several photos of he and Yabsera - I thought he would like that! I have a little Curious George back pack to put some fun stuff in for the plane ride home.

Work is busy- I am trying to get everything settled by Friday- I told them I would come in Tuesday to put someone on a study - but that I plan to be out next week. Pray we get on the flight on the 24th!

Happy Mother's Day

It was a good day. It was Phoebe's birthday and we went to visit a close friend who is due to have her first baby any day now. We were able to do some much needed shopping for the trip and pick up some things like formula and wipes and duffle bags to carry the donations in. My good friend who brought her babies home last week has been on my mind a lot and I ask you to pray for them. The twins they brought home are doing well but they have encountered some medical issues and I would like you all to pray for them. I wish I could post pictures of these two babies- they are so incredibly beautiful0 her daughter- who is supposed to be about 6 months only weighed 8 pounds when she got home- but she is growing and gaining and smiling and cooing now. Keep them in your prayers. And while you pray for them- please pray for Maren and Yabsera- they are doing well - we have heard- but each day that passes- I worry a little bit more about them and how they are- pray they are healthy and well and thriving. Mark surprised me today with a wonderful mother's day card and in it he said I was an awesome mother of 5 and on July 17th will get to be a fan of four...and I knew immediately that he ad gotten me tickets to go see Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young at Red Rocks! I was so happy- we haven't gone to a concert in years - before we had kids we went to a lot of shows. We saw CSNY in San Francisco in 1991 in a great small theatre- and the set was like a living room and that was how it felt- like you were sitting in their living room listening to them play "Guinevere". I was worried who would want to watch 5 kids and he said- we will figure that out. It was one of the nicest and best surprises since he got me TIVO ;).

Happy Mother's Day!