AHOPE Update and our "Forever Day"

Today I was at a work retreat with our families from the HIV clinic at the hospital- it was a really nice day- I was sad to be spending it away from my two youngest because two years ago today was the day they came into our lives (physically) forever. We were in Addis at the Addis Kiddan Guest house and that day- they gave us the boys and they never went back to the CWA care center. Yes- our lives were forever changed. So today is our "Forever Day." But I was with my families from work. This is not always the easiest event for me- I don't even bother bringing my own children anymore- but today was really different and I just enjoyed sitting around talking with the families and hanging out- it was - in the afternoon at least- actually somewhat restful.

So- today I bring you an email update from the AHOPE supplies coordinator- this is the orphanage that I visited two years ago tomorrow and that visit- also changed many things for me- and for many families and for many children- so that is a special day in and of itself- so read on about the recent donations and needs. I see that they credit many recent donations to one of the big agencies which is so great- I hope the CWA families are still staying connected to AHOPE in the way the early CWA families who traveled were- because it truly is an amazing place. Have you ever been to a place and you feel like "This is a God place...no really- that is what this place is." That is the way I felt when I first met K. in her schoolroom and saw her smile.

From Cat Brainerd:

Hi Everyone!

This is Cat Brainerd, the Supply and Donation Coordinator for AHOPE. I wanted to write and thank everyone so much for your incredible support to AHOPE these past few months! In fact, lately we've had more supplies than travelers to carry them! So if you are traveling to Ethiopia any time in the next few months and have any space in your luggage to carry donations, please let me know! Every little bit helps!!! Any extra thanks to Beth and you CHSFS folks - you are really outdoing yourselves between donations and sponsorships. Keep it coming!

Also (here is my request!) AHOPE plans to start a music education program with the children. We are all very excited about this development and think it will be wonderful for the kids! But AHOPE needs instruments. If you have any instruments looking for a good home, consider donating to AHOPE!

Finally, I'll wrap this up by attaching a few photos of recent donations, including a much anticipated medical book, brand new shoes for all the children at AHOPE (yep, that's over 80 pairs of new Crocs!) as well as 100 toothbrushes!. I hope to have some other photos to share soon.

Again, thank you all for what you are doing for the children of AHOPE. We couldn't do this without your support. Thank you on behalf of all the wonderful children at AHOPE!!!

Best Regards,
Cat Brainerd
AHOPE Supplies Coordinator

ahopesupplies@gmail.com
AHOPE website: http://www.ahopeforchildren.org/
Listserv: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/AHOPEforchildren/
family blog: ouradoptionlog.blogspot.com

and I leave you some pictures of my forever boys:

Tell Two

This is a great post by a woman whom I have a great deal of respect. She has an amazing story and a blog with a lot of information about what is obviously very close to my heart, adopting children with HIV and navigating life as a family affected by HIV whether through adoption or not.

So do this...go here...and read this blogpost....Tell Two

And then please take a minute to go to this equally cool, short and sweet article about a little girl I met this week...and I can vouch for the validity of the "Eloise at the Hilton" comparison! (By the way- yet another amazing family...truly - I am humbled on a daily basis by the people who come in and out of my day!)

Children's Heaven

A remarkable woman came to Denver recently, Hanna Fanta. She came to share with us what she does in Ethiopia to help young teen girls who are orphaned, impoverished, and sometimes ill. She is one of those poeple you meet in life and realize that we are all capable of so much more. She brought tears to our eyes when talking about her girls. She does everything she can to keep the girls at home with family. She does this by providing education in the form of tuition or uniforms, meals, health education, job training, life skills and most importantly love. She wants to make sure she can give each girl what they deserve and by doing that she has kept her numbers down- but this spring added about 40 new girls. At our meeting, which was the last of several she had across the country, all of the girls had sponsors, but she said when she got home that she would take double sponsors on the girls to help off set rising food and gas prices. They have also recently lost the place they were living and are moving into a shipping crate. I will post her recent email here. But first, her website is finally up and here you can make donations or sponsor a child. This child will write to you and you can send her small gifts and letters with families who are traveling. I know several poeple who have visited Hanna's family and find that what she is doing is not only amazing- but is very real. These girls are truly being helped through our direct support. Here is the website for Children's Heaven.

Here are some pictures from Hanna's visit. My good friend, Luana Harris Scott, opened her home for this event. My husband cooked Ethiopian food and we had both families connected to Ethiopian adoption as well as a bunch of caring families interested in hearing Hanna's story at the event.





She was so loving towards Maren and Yabsera. Maren took to her so fast it made me a bit jealous. He would just cuddle up to her...and he has not always been the biggest cuddler in the family...though he does like it more and more.
At the end of the evening, when Hanna was really tired and just waiting to leave, Maren brought her out into the patio and told her to sit in the rocking chair where he rocked her gently and then he would crawl into her lap and then get out and rock her again. It was one of the sweetest things I have ever seen and you got the sense that he really knew deep down inside that this was an Ethiopian woman who should be treated with great respect alternating with the warmth and love he probably has deep memories from his own Ethiopian mama.

Another Article on the Famine in Ethiopia

Once Again, Children are Starving in Ethiopia is the title of the article, which makes it sound like perhaps there was a brief window when the food was plentiful in one of the poorest countries on the globe. This photo is of a 3 year old suffering from Malnutrition- she weighs 10 pounds. When CWA first opened they sent home babies who looked much like this. It seems that they now have figured out that they can really feed these kids while in their care before their new moms and dads come to get them- because now we see referral pictures of chubby babies...but this child is the one that is more typical of many of the children you will see outside the protective walls of the typical US/UK/European/Australian run orphanages when you go. You will see many many children whose growth has been severely stunted for lack of food.

Children Dying in Drought-Stricken Ethiopia

It is when I read things like this- that I feel that strong tug tug tugging on that rope that was tied around my heart so many years ago. On one end there sits Emily...here in Colorado, going about her life of daily chaos, fatigue, eat, sleep, work, eat, kids homework and to bed, "Lost", type- tap tap tap- sleep again...and then she sees a picture, hears a song, reads an article, reads someone's blog and tug tug tug that rope is being gently pulled to some far away place where just the "eat and the sleep of life" are a very real challenge, where your whole life depends on a clean glass of water.

This reminds me of this incredible video...

A Walk to Beautiful

If you have not seen this, A Walk to Beautiful, I would highly recommended it. What is amazing about the stories of these women is the perseverance and fortitude they exhibit...from a very early age. And the joy that comes from having the surgery needed to repair the damage done during long difficult labors which almost all ended in still birth. It is a great documentary and is so well done. It could easily leave you in despair but instead it inspires you. Please make a point of finding out when it will be playing in your neck of the woods. If you are adopting from Ethiopia- you should definitely see this movie- partly because you will have a window into the culture where your children came from. I am constantly amazed at the world we brought our boys into as I learn more and more about the life they once knew.

Birthday's Not Celebrated, Birthday's Celebrated

Traditionally birthdays are not celebrated in many parts of Ethiopia. They are not even remembered. When I was there I met Hanna at the Addis Kiddan Guest House and I was asking her about this and she said that in fact, what I had heard was true, they do not celebrate them. When I asked her how old she was she said she did not know- she just always says 28. And she was serious, not like here where we would like to forget. It would be easy to forget how old you were if you never really had to keep track of that.

We still have to think when people ask us how old Michael is- I mean I finally think I have it down now that he turned 6. I feel like I can say "Six." more and more without explaining that he if probably really 7. And its really bad when poeple ask what are the birthdays of our two youngest because we always have to think and remember what it says on the official paperwork and what we have decided on our own and what we have heard from the birth family. What is amazing- at least with the infants- if CWA (Christian World Adoption) would just ask the person who brought the child a simple list of intake questions- they would get a fairly exact birthday- these women remember when they birthed their babies, "It was the second Sunday after the Ethiopian New Year. I remember it was a Sunday because we had gone to Market the day before." They KNOW. Or "How old is the child?" the grandfather replies, "He was five when we brought him to CWA." If they KNOW this then why does the child suddenly become this child without a story- with no history, with an age being guessed after a 5 minute visit with a doctor? Even the nannies at CWA felt that Michael was older than 3...why not at least listen to them? He was very very small- wearing 18 month old clothes- clothes that no longer fit our 2 1/2 year old baby boy- so I can see why a child who was probably deathly silent at the doctors would be called 3...but once around him for 24 hours the staff at the Addis Kiddan Guest House KNEW he was older just by having conversations with him and watching him play. So here are some pictures from two years ago when we went and met Michael and Yabsera- I tried to pick ones that showed you how really small this kid was....

Here is Michael at the Addis Kiddan Guest House with a Soccer ball we bought from the guy down the street for a buck. We gave it to Ahope when we left. See how he compares with the size of a smallish soccer ball?
Here he is eating at the Ghion- it was amazing to watch this kid eat! He would put so much food away and then at the end he would tear the napkin into strips so he could share the one napkin with you- he would then mash up the food for you and try to get you to eat it- it was clearly what he saw the older people in his life do. Note that he is standing at one of those low ET tables.
Here he is at the lake...um...which lake guys? I can't remember- the one with the "resorts" at it...
Here he is playing with the sprinkler in the yard at the guest house...the shorts were 2T sized and he was swimming in them.
Here is Michael Maren's birth grandfather. A farmer from a remote village in South West Ethiopia- arguable one of the poorest areas of one of the worlds poorest countries. Why was Michael so darned small for his age? He had very little food. He could hardly walk when he came to CWA. They commented on this when they talked about him- that they let him go because he was "So smart" they knew he would be ok- and they mentioned that he was often "angry" because he stomach hurt...why did his stomach hurt? "He was hungry all the time." This is his house. He is proud of it- because its so big. They are holding his photo album- and they are proud of him for doing something so darn difficult.
These are the people who cared for Michael when he was sick, and hungry, and very very small- all waving to him and in the video clip they are singing to him. Its beautiful. But notice the child with the orange hair- indicating severe malnutrition. It breaks my heart to feel so far away from his roots and not be able to do much to help them directly. I just love the joy on their faces- can you see it? There is real joy here even in this difficult state.

So- fast forward to two years later- Michael is turning 6- in America time- in the Ethiopian world he is 7...on paper he is 5! (Are you starting to understand the confusion? We Americans really like dates and birthdays a whole lot...) So here is the Ethiopian born American little boy on his 6th birthday. "Michael what would you like to do its your birthday?" "I know! I have a GREAT idea! Lets put blankets on the porch and all eat outside!" "Ok, good idea- but what would you like to eat? Its your birthday meal?" "Macaroni and Cheese!" It was by far the easiest birthday ever. He would have been happy to get one small toy car quite honestly.
He set it all up himself and told us all where to sit. And it occurred to me that - back in the village somewhere in South West Ethiopia, this was how his birth family would be sharing a meal. Sitting on the ground together in song.

And notice how he sits in this photo and then look back at the one with the soccer ball from two years ago- same kid- sitting the exact same way...but that child was sacred and angry (he has told us that many times- how angry he was because he was so scared the whole time he was with CWA and when we came to bring him home) and this child- this 6 year old- has joy.

Many candles...one wish...to go back to Ethiopia and see everyone!

....and Yabsera...he just wants his cake....now....please??????

Family

My dear Aunt Renee (pronounced ree-nee) died this past month. She was my mother's sister and the mother of 3 of my favorite cousins. We gave Caelan his middle name "Joseph" after my Uncle Joe, Renee's sweet husband who had died before Cal was born. So now these cousins are "orphans". We all went home to upstate NY for the funeral and to see our cousins. Here are Aunt Renee, Uncle Joe and their first born son Kurt. My mother blogged about this here.

Fortunately we were all together last summer for my mother's birthday. It was a beautiful summer afternoon - and I think now we only wish it was longer. While at home for that very brief period I was able to spend a little bit of time with my own nieces and nephews...all who have grown so much since the last time I saw them- it was a bit disorienting!

Here is Phil at his computer- working on a paper- he graduated this year...

And Nick, who is a freshman in High School and was a 4 month olf baby at Madeline's birth!

I do not have picture of my Carolyn, the oldest grandchild, from this visit- so I am inserting one of her from 2 years ago- when we brought M and Y home. Here she is with baby Yabsera.Now back to March 2008...
We have Alex who is one month younger than my Phoebe- in 3rd grade- but a whole head taller than Phoebe...and Andre...another tall young boy...he is 13.
About a week later I went into NYC to see the rest. It just so happened that my brother Gordy was in town the same weekend - so there we were all 4 "kids" together within 2 weeks. We were celebrating many things and it was good to be together again. Below is our little Lu... with her Elmo in the park.

Here is my sister Jill with Cooper...about to be a big brother again later this year...the oldest grandchild and the youngest will be 20 years apart.
My brother Gordy with my mom on the day we left.
Three of four "kids"...one last picture....

And I came home to my family...my 5 kids and incredible husband....