Is it still possible in this day and age that people still think they can "catch" HIV from a child? From a hug? From holding a hand? Is it possible that the stigma of HIV and AIDS is still so deep...wait a sec...How on earth did it get so deep when this disease has hardly even been around...I mean it really "appeared" only 20 or 30 years ago...how does that happen?
We have a young guy in clinic who needs medication - but we cannot start him on medication because he lives in a house with a lot of people who do not know he has HIV and he is TERRIFIED to tell them. This could quite possibly kill this man. The fear of the reactions of the people he loves the most in this world.
Jesus must just cringe when walking among us. (I am certain he spends a lot of time looking at me cross-eyed) So if HIV is the modern day leprosy...then why wouldn't Christians want to do everything they can do help those who suffer with this horrible disease? It is quite clear it is what Christ would have us do. When caring for and loving people with HIV are we not showing love for Christ himself?
Why would a Christian Adoption Agency say that they will not facilitate the adoption of an HIV positive child? I can tell you that it’s out of ignorance and fear. (And, I can't help it, it’s also out of stupidity)
I sat in a meeting yesterday with several government officials where we had to identify the major challenges we face in successfully treating young people and pregnant women with HIV...would you believe one of the major challenges was stigma and disclosure? And then we had to make an "Action Plan" (These were government folks you see...)
I said, "This is so huge...its something that has to change on a societal level...how do we do that?" It seems like a drop in the overflowing bucket. Its like saying "Oh there are 20 million orphans in Africa- we brought home 2." What good is that in the big picture?
I once took care of a sweet little girl. A funny little girl. She had AIDS. The full blown kind, that you hardly see in the US in kids anymore. She was so sick. There were no medicines to help her. She was dying from the day that I met her and died when she was nearly 3 years old. I held this little girl for hours upon hours at night- we would rock and sing and I would pat her arm. She had a horrible patch of shingles on her arm that just got worse and worse over time. It was always bandaged and hurt so much. She liked it when I would pat her arm (really hard). It deflected the pain in a way that made it slightly more bearable. She could barely eat due to the thrush in her mouth. This, too, hurts like you cannot imagine. She had diarrhea constantly and sores on her bottom that made it unbearable. She loved to be worn on her mommy's back in the backpack and walk around the Christmas Tree farm where we lived. She loved birthdays and ketchup and Santa. She loved the song "Rainbow Connection". She also loved the song, "And I will raise you up on eagles wings". She never was able to walk well independently. For a little while she used a walker and then she started deteriorating. I remember that there was a new drug, DDI, but she was too sick to qualify for the drug treatment trials.
This breaks my heart more than anything. She was too sick to be able to get a new drug that may have brought her more months or years of life. Someone made up the rules and said that this little girl had no more choices left. And I think back and with what I know now...what we all know now- she would not only be alive today but would be thriving- this little 2 year old- our little Tina- would be 18 years old. She would be graduating from High School or quite possibly in college. She would likely be in love, and because she was so beautiful and so sweet and funny- someone would be in love with her right back.
She died in 1991. In April. Right after Easter. I buried Tina. Literally. It was a warm day in Northern California, near the coast, and she was being buried near the chapel at the Christmas tree farm. They asked me to bury her because they did not want just anyone to do it. It had to be someone who loved Tina and whom Tina loved. So I had to prepare her grave. Help to lower her tiny casket into the hole and then fill the hole with dirt. It took me all day. I will never ever forget this.
This is why my heart breaks when I hear that the agency that I chose to help me bring my own sons home from Ethiopia will not help to bring home a child with HIV...... And I am truly not being dramatic here when I say that they have blood on their hands. Because HIV care in Ethiopia is much like HIV care was in Northern California in 1991 and these children that CWA and other agencies are leaving behind don't stand half a chance. And someone has to pay for other people's ignorance and prejudice and fear and LAZINESS...but why should that person be an innocent child?
Here is my Tina. She never lets me forget.
Christina "Tina", May 16, 1988 - April 9, 1991
ps Why are they lazy? Because they will not take the time to educate themselves and their staff about the disease and about how wonderful adoption can be for thse children and how to manage the minute differences between this type of adoption and the adoptions of children with other diseases like TB, Hep B, Diabetes, CP, and others.
