Friday, June 29, 2007

One Season Wonders

As I watched the final episode of my favorite new show of this TV season, "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" the other night, I was feeling- once again robbed of a great television show. I feel like someone out there who has a lot of control took away a show with great actors and amazing writers and yet they let another season of something lame with Donald Trump as the lead get renewed. Studio 60 was well done, interesting, funny and smart. You couldn't wait for the next show. My only consolation is that they let the final episodes air rather then shelving them. So as the summer reruns began, we had something to look forward to on Thursday nights. And it ended in a multipart season ending story. Well done. But it got me thinking of other great shows- shows that deserved a second chance, a second season, a better time slot. Here is a list of my all time favorite one season wonders. I have added a couple of two season wonders in for good measure- as well as a couple of my husbands favorites. Here they are in no particular order....

Freaks & Geeks 1999 Who couldn't love this show which takes place during the 1980's. This is the same time I was in middle and high school and I remember the "freaks" and the "geeks". There were a lot of cultural references to the 80's but the themes were valid today...only now we have "Emos" and "Preps" or something like that! Plus it had the great John Francis Daley as Sam.

Homefront 1991-1993 3 seasons
Ok- this had three seasons. But I loved it- I think I should probably do a new post with three season shows I loved...and then 4 season shows I loved...I think I see a trend. Anyway, this show was about a small American town right after WWII ends and all of the relationships that are changed due to the war and how the war affects the whole town. Notably, the whole reason I adored the show was because I had a small crush on one of the lead actors, a young Kyle Chandler, who you would later see in that "Cat see into the future after reading the newspaper" show "Early Edition", and more recently, the new hit show "Friday Night Lights." And if you watch Grey's Anatomy- you might remember him as the Bomb Squad guy who was killed after Meredith did whatever dramatic thing she did when she did not die...man she has almost died a lot. In fact, he came back this season in her "near death experience scene."

My So-Called Life 1994
Here you got to see a young Claire Danes and she breaks into her career. This was a well done show- but I do remember that it was pretty depressing. I was a new mom then and thinking, "Why is she so bummed out all the time? She has her whole life ahead of her."

Jack and Bobby 2004
I LOVED this show. I was so sad when it was canceled. The premise was that these were two brothers, Jack (older) and Bobby (younger) are growing up and one of them will become president. The show flips back and forth from the present day "future" where its clearly a documentary on the life of a president who has been assassinated. You spend the whole show trying to figure out which kid becomes president. Once they knew they were being canceled, they made a long season finale that wrapped everything up nice and neat in hopes of one day selling a DVD boxset of the one and only season. I don't think they made the DVD.

Andy Richter Controls the Universe (2002) I actually never saw this show- but it was on everyone's top ten lists and since I LOVE Andy Richter- I am certain I would have loved it.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip 2006 This is the show by the creators of West Wing which inspired this blog post. This post which has nothing to do with Adoption, Ethiopia, or HIV. I am going to have to create a whole new tagline for "Entertainment". Which by the way is a great thing to have at the end of a long day involving the above three things. I loved this series. I love the actors in it- I love seeing Mathew Perry doing his "Non- Chandler" acting- which he does VERY well. And I also enjoy watching him as Chandler for the record.

The Comeback 2005 OK. I watched this show last summer when I had first brought the boys home from Ethiopia. It was a hard summer, but one of the things I looked forward to was watching this show. It is so darn funny. Its one of those shows where you are watching the main character and just cringing. In one scene I am laughing so hard- side splitting, really- and then you see Lisa Kudrow's Character doing something and you are sitting there crying- you are literally laughing and crying at the same time. Its Brilliant! Someone on the IMDB said that its much smarter than Sex and the City- another HBO show- and its really true. It works like "The Office" because its a dramatized reality show. Beautiful.

Gidget 1965 This show was on MTV when MTV was a baby. I was about 13 or 14 then and LOVED the show. I named my cat Gidget- because back then when you loved a show you named your pets after it...now we just name our children after Television...Phoebe.

The Mole 2001 I liked this reality show a lot- it was really funny and I enjoyed always trying to figure out who the Mole was. I never knew- they were very good at hiding the fact that they were the mole. When it was down to the last 3 people, it was so intense- the idea that there are 3 of you- and one of you is lying to your face. It is a lot like the real world, really- there are always moles out there...right guys? It's what keeps you on your toes. Plus I like Anderson Cooper, and he now does all that newsy stuff on CNN!

Sports Night 1998-2000 2 seasons OK! Who out there saw this show and can't say it was one of the best shows ever on TV??? I know it lasted one season longer than most on this list- but it was an amazing funny and brilliant show with an incredible cast. Is this one on DVD? If it is..run, don't walk, to your nearest video store and grab it. But you will be as sad as me when the second season ends and there are no more....

The Honeymooners 1955 'Nuff said.

Ned and Stacy 1995 2 seasons I enjoyed this show...it had Debra Messing before Will and Grace and Thomas Hayden Church from Wings. It was funny. I liked the cast a lot and it left after two seasons...of course Will and Grace came along and the rest is history.

The Bonnie Hunt Show 1995
This show was on for one season- it was funny- Bonnie Hunt is so talented...but then she came back with a new show, "Life with Bonnie" which aired for 2 seasons..they were basically the same story idea and some of the same characters. Well done. Bonnie Hunt is amazing.

The Monkees 1966
2 seasons The Monkees, Like Gidget, was on when I was a teenager. I remember trying to tape every episode on VCR and somewhere in my mothers basement is an old box of VHS tapes with Monkees episodes. This was the perfect show for my teenage brain. Clever and funny and predictable. Same plot line every show, but you wanted it that way. And I loved the music!

Do you have any One Season Wonders to add to my list???

Thursday, June 28, 2007

7 things about me

Since I have not posted a picture in while here is Maren and Yabsera watching "Spirited Away". Completely entranced.....




I have been tagged by Laura to list 7 random things about me...but since my 100th post is coming up soon...I am going to list 7 things about me and the life of HIV. But first a photo of Yabsera Rock climbing in the Rockies...



My 7 things.....

1) I accompanied my friend for an HIV test in 1990. That was my first time coming that close to this disease. He tested negative, but tested positive about 8 years later and is now living with HIV.



2) I held my first baby who was HIV exposed in the fall of 1990. She was drooling on my shoulder and I wondered if I could get HIV from being drooled on. I had taken a job caring for kids with HIV and yet I had no idea what that meant or how you got the disease. There was no internet to do research. That night I found out that you do not get HIV from being drooled on. That baby ended up being uninfected. Her birthmother has long since passed away.



3) I first fell in love with children that were not my own in the fall of 1990. 3 of them had HIV and two of them did not. I loved these kids like they were my own and it was the first time I really knew that I would probably one day adopt a child.



4) I watched my first child with HIV die in the spring of 1991. I held her at night and we sang and rocked. She was in a great deal of pain. I blogged about here here.

5) I said my first goodbyes to the children I had really grown to love and cherish in the summer of 1991. My first of many heartbreaks over saying goodbye to a child. One of the children with HIV died a few years ago at age 18, and the other child who is now in her 20's is still alive and doing well. The two uninfected children are also all grown up and doing well.

6) I met my first "Buddy" with HIV in the fall of 1992. Her name was Veronica and she was 21 and the mother of two girls. Neither girl was HIV infected. I spent 4 years getting to know this young woman. We were almost the same age, both from Upstate New York, both children of the 70's and teenagers of the 80's...we had a lot in common. She died in the spring of 1996 of complications related to HIV disease. I made her a quilt piece that is now part of the AIDS Quilt.

7) I started caring for families with HIV, as a medical professional, in 1996 when the new HIV Drug Cocktail, including Protease Inhibitors, came out. This is the magic year when the new drugs were available that would change the face of HIV in the Western World. If Veronica had lived a few more months, she might be alive today and if Tina was born in 1996 she not only would be alive today- she would probably not have been born with HIV at all. No other disease, in the history of diseases, has made this type of progress this quickly. Six years was the difference for Tina and Veronica, and its also the difference for all of those kids in Ethiopia who have a chance to access these life saving medications. Many of these kids are even being adopted here in the US and other countries. Not long ago international adoption of an HIV+ child was only rarely possible. Now I have gotten about 4 emails in the last month from families who are interested in adopting an HIV+ child.

And finally- Maren- falls asleep on the wood floor at my feet. I suppose even our wood floor is more comfortable than some of the places this kid slept while in Ethiopia.


Saturday, June 23, 2007

The "Helen Keller" you have brought home

I was just emailing a friend of mine who was telling me about her daughter she just adopted who is about 7 or so. She was saying that she has these tantrums that are so visceral and almost animal like and it can be really hard on everyone. She can't even leave her with her older kids for fear that she might have one of these spin outs when she is not there. She says its getting better but its still so hard. I told her how normal it is and that it also gets better. It really does. And the families whose kids come home and don't do this- does not necessarily mean their children are better adjusted- they have different coping styles and who can say that child who never cries and yells for an hour or two without being consoled won't have major issues as they grow and process all of their losses and grief. Grief is ok and normal and healthy and letting them cry in a safe place is important and as their language skills get better they can talk to you and tell you how they feel. this is what I wrote to her about our experience:

The tantrums are completely normal- she has no other way to say how completely crazy she feels inside- how upset, sad, full of grief, confused she is- Maren actually talks about his tantrums now and says that he was scared and angry (his words). "Like an animal" describes it well and its why its like "Helen Keller". We also could not leave Maddie with Maren- we can now but only for easy, short times- you may remember the first time we tried it (we had been home 5 months) and we had eaten Ethiopian food with Melissa Faye Green and then went to the book signing- I think being around the Ethiopian kids and food might have set him off- we got a frantic call from Maddie- it was terrible she was just crying and sounded scared because Michael was really loosing it. Your daughter needs to get it out and when she can talk better it will help- just like having a toddler (terrible twos) who can't really talk yet so they throw themselves around and have fits. She will get better. I also have the people who comment on Maren's energy level and to me it doesn't seem like its abnormal or too high most times. He also does spend a lot of time just lying on the floor with his cars and playing quietly. But get him in a public or different situation I think he just can't process it as well- this makes sense - if he spent a lot of time alone (which he did) and also if he was never expected to act a certain way in social situations then all of these gatherings must just seem so odd and foreign, because they ARE. I think The Weavers Craft has a lot to say about toddlers- but I think the information is probably useful up to about age 8 or so with some of the behaviors she talks about. It will get better. I promise!

Monday, June 18, 2007

Help Stop Teenage Affluenza

I walked by and my 14 year old was watching this. It's perfect.

Monday, June 04, 2007

The Other 5,999,268

The New York Times Article on Ethiopian Adoption

In the article they point out how fast adoptions in Ethiopia have grown over the past few years and cite the pitfalls of growing too rapidly, including bringing up a scenario with the agency we used CWA (Christian World Adoption). In the article they speculate that the mix up of three babies was a mistake that could happen when an agency grows too fast. What is not pointed out is that, I believe we all recognize there is human error involved, but it's how the agency chose to handle it after the mistake had been made where I find fault. How they dealt with it and how they are dealing with it is where there is room for improvement.

I also found myself saddened to read that Ethiopia is one of the few countries who not only encourages but asks that you meet the birth family and learn from them for the child you are bringing home. Its very progressive and its what we know to be a good thing for adopted children. They need to have the story and see pictures. This helps when you have been plucked from the only place and people you know and brought half way around the world to a place where there are new smells, strange food, funny sounds, and a different language. It helps to know you were loved in Ethiopia and these are the people who loved you.

I am sad because CWA did not allow, encourage or help us meet any birth family. In fact the one thing that we hoped to have was the ability to meet our kids in the care center where they spent the last 6 months of their lives. Talk with the nannies, take pictures of them with their friends...how nice it would have been to come home and when Maren was so sad and grieving to pull out an album with his friends in it so he could look at them and talk about them?

That was the part of the article that made me sad. So choose your agency wisely. We went into it being told one thing and ended up with something else.

Bottom line- I am so glad that people everywhere are adopting from Ethiopia- with nearly 6 million orphans - the 732 kids brought to the US last year (2 of whom are my Maren and Yabsera)- are just a drop in the bucket. So much more needs to be done. Adoption is a bandaid really.

Its a wonderful thing for 732 kids and the families it affects on both sides... but its not the only answer...what about the other 5,999,268?



Sunday, June 03, 2007

How Many Orphans in Ethiopia?

According to UNICEF:

The number of orphans in Ethiopia, Children (0-17 years) orphaned due to all causes, in 2005, is estimated at 4,800,000.

Many other sites bring this current number closer to 6 million, which makes sense because this is only a 2005 estimate.

So....

The US census bureau estimates that there are 4,514,342 children under 18 living in New York state as of last year. So, you can safely say that if you take every child under 18 who lives in all of New York State and remove their parents you have roughly the number of orphans they estimated there were in Ethiopia 2 years ago...if you go by the more current estimates then you would have to add the state of Massachusetts at 1,448,884 kids under the age of 18 in 2006 and we are still about 100,000 kids shy...so lets add the District of Columbia with an estimate of 114,881 kids-

So we would have to take all the kids under 18 in New York, Massachusetts and the District of Columbia - remove their parents and then you would have the number of children who are orphans in Ethiopia.

"When will the day come that our dignity will be fully restored, when the purpose of our lives will no longer be merely to survive until the sun rises tomorrow!"
-Thabo Mbeki

Friday, June 01, 2007

Just 10 posts away....

10 posts until I get to my 100th post- and you all know what that means- I have to list 100 things about me...I have 10 posts to make that happen...well...9 now....

Since one year ago today I was in Addis just getting to know my two little boys I leave you with a photo of them with me on the beach of lake...Langano- I think. Its amazing how much they have changed...and for posterity I am also adding one of my favorite photos of Cal- taken when he was about 7. So these are my boys- and they don't look like this any more (Yabsera is now wearing the clothes that Maren is wearing in this photo and the shoes are too small for Yabsera's giant feet!) - Maren, Yabsera and Caelan....bungy jumping